Game Series as High School Cliques

Okay, interesting twist time. We all know about the stereotypical Hollywood high school cliques seen in cheesy 80's and 90's movies. There's always a jock, a nerd, a skater, etc. Well here's my take on which video game series I think best fit those cliché high school cliques.

Jock – Grand Theft Auto

They’re the coolest kids in school, beloved by almost everyone even though they get into trouble from time to time. Sure they pick on other cliques and can be offensive, but they’re just so good at what they do. Whether you love or hate them, you still respect them from taking the team to the state championship…or something like that.

Geek – Lego Series

If there’s ever a series that has its hand in nearly every major player of geek-culture, it’s the Lego series of games. Batman, DC Universe, Star Wars, Marvel Universe, Indiana Jones – if it’s got a following of geeks ready to pummel you with useless facts that nobody else knows or cares about, Lego will make a game about it. I’m still waiting for my Lego: Doctor Who by the way. MAKE IT HAPPEN! 

Skater – Sonic the Hedgehog

He’s fast, he’s hip, and he doesn't give a damn that you like Mario more than him – he’s gonna keep living fast and hard and listening to Sonic Youth on his Walkman (see what I did there?). Seriously, the tennis shoes, the spiked hair, and the demeanor just scream Skater, and frankly, it’s perfect, especially because the sole purpose of everyone’s favorite blue blur was to bring attitude to the video game world.

Hipster – Minecraft

No matter how many clones released that are predicated on creative world design and a little bit of survival, Minecraft will always be the game to say they were doing it long before the rest of the posers. Like a hipster creates a look that we know took a long time to assemble yet they claim took no effort at all, so too does Minecraft have that feel of beautiful gameplay and simplistically stunning graphics that look as though they took little to no effort to create. When everyone is playing games like this in the future through our implanted brain chip virtual reality simulators, we’ll look back and appreciate Minecraft for making what was once uncool cool again.

Scenester – Saints Row

Oh Saints Row – always eager to fit in yet somehow only getting labeled as a GTA-wannabe. We know that you’re an open-world game, but GTA made it popular first. And those crazy antics and insane weapons? Well, sure they’re fun and all but it just seems like you’re trying too hard. Honestly, we appreciate you for what you are, but we simply cannot ignore the fact that you’re a poser that will never live up to the hype and awesomeness of GTA.

Prep – Final Fantasy

If there is any series out there more concerned with keeping up appearances, I haven’t found it. When you've been around as long as Final Fantasy and are known for not only setting trends but also destroying them altogether with your style and gameplay, you’re bound to be under a lot of pressure to do it time and again with every game you release. Sure, they’re always a candidate for prom king GOTY, and people always get excited about what new clothes innovations they release, but sometimes they don’t live up to expectations.

Nerd – World of Warcraft

I know I’m delving into generalizations and stereotypes here, but when South Park rips on your fanbase for being overweight, basement-dwelling social lepers, well, if the shoe fits… Seriously though, for a game as massive as World of Warcraft where people sink not just hours or days, but weeks of their life into it, you’re bound to be compared to the cliché nerd with a lack of fashion and social skills that make you a normal, contributing member of the gaming social ladder. Regardless, even if this offends WoW players, they’ll never read this because they’re too busy raiding or whatever the hell it is they do in that game.

Mean Girls – Call of Duty

Raise your hand if you have ever been personally victimized by Call of Duty? Seriously, it’s the series that walks into a room and everyone immediately hates them for one reason or another. However, with over 120 million games sold, the franchise has the clout to back-up its claim as the “popular” kids at school. Still, no matter how popular they are, they’re obnoxious in the way they belittle everyone else for not being them.

Emo – Metal Gear

Seriously, is there a more complicated and long-winded story line than that of Metal Gear? Every time I read up on the canon I feel like I reading a script of a damn soap opera. The series itself is said to not take itself too seriously, but then it goes ahead and creates lengthy, emotionally driven trailers for their upcoming game. The only things missing from this series is a soundtrack featuring Dashboard Confessional and Hinder (please God no).

Well there you have it - my take on video game series as stereotypical high school cliques. Have any other suggestions? Agree or disagree with my choices? Feel free to let me know on Twitter or in the comments below.