Games of Our Fathers

Father’s Day has already come and gone, but I didn't have a chance to write a post about my father due to my travels outside of the country. Now that I’m back and have trusty wifi and a laptop, I want to take some time and write about the man who is not only my role model, but the reason I’m the gamer I am today. I encourage all of you, regardless of the day, to thank your fathers and mothers as often as possible, especially if they had a hand in you becoming a gamer.

As a gamer well into his 20s, it’s interesting to look back at my past and think about the beginnings of my love for gaming. It may have been nearly 23 years ago that I first popped a cart into a Sega Genesis and began what would become a lifelong hobby and passion, but to this day I have vivid memories of my earliest experiences as a gamer. Still, no matter how many times I look back at my history with video games, there seems to be one constant: my father. Without him, I wouldn’t be the gamer I am today, for it was he who taught me how to hold a controller; it was him who introduced me to the likes of Sonic and Mario; and it is him who, to this day, still games with me.

Sadly, as the years go by, my father and I seem to have less and less time to game together. Still, when we finally find the time, I always have flashbacks of my 5-year-old self with my father sitting at my side in front of an old CRT as we save imaginary lands from evil and build memories that will last a lifetime. As a way to thank my father for all those wonderful memories, I decided to write letters from each stage of my gaming life as I’ve grown to be the gamer I am today.

Preschool Gamer

Dear Daddy,

Thanks a bunch for getting that Sega Genesis! It’s really, really fun to play with you when you get home from work. I like playing NHL with you, especially when I get to play as my favorite team, the Red Wings. I also really like playing Sonic the Hedgehog. He’s really fast and cool, plus he’s my favorite color! He is the best character because you call me your little hedgehog when you carry me on your shoulders. My favorit-est game is Toejam & Earl cause we get to play together a lot. The aliens make funny noises and do crazy things when they open presents, but it’s really hard to play all by myself. I really need you to help me get all the spaceship pieces, and it’s cool when we get to sit for a long time and play together. Thanks a lot for letting me play games with you. It’s the best part of the day.

Love,

Timmy

Elementary Gamer

Dear Dad,

The SNES you bought is really fun to play. I really like the new games we have. Every morning I wake up and play Super Mario RPG: Legend of the Seven Stars before I have to catch the bus. Sometimes I almost miss the bus because I’m playing too much and you don’t like that, but it makes me very happy to play before school. I know that you don’t like RPGs as much as I do, but thanks for helping me beat that boss early in the game. Oh, and thanks taking me to Blockbuster every week to rent Earthbound. I’m not sure what’s going a lot of the time, and it’s really hard to play, but I want to play it all day and all night. I wish we could play these games together like we used to do, but RPGs are for one player only. But if you ever want to play games with me we can rent a two-player game. Or I can play my games while you watch. I like that, too, dad. I also like Command & Conquer on the computer, but I’m not that good at it so I like watching you play that more, especially when Tanya blows things up. Okay, I have to go play Earthbound.

Love,

Tim

Middle School Gamer

Hey Dad,

Firstly, the N64 is awesome! The graphics are so cool, and Mario is in 3D! Of course you already know this because you watched me play Super Mario 64 for the first time when we brought my N64 home. It took a really long time to save up enough money from my paper route to buy my very own console, but I did it and I was so happy to play it for the first time. When I asked you to buy me one and you told me to get a paper route, I thought I would never own an N64, and I was a little mad at you. But I worked really hard, and you helped me a lot by driving me around to houses when weather was bad. Remember when we got a few feet of snow in winter and we delivered the papers together in a blizzard? It was hard but we did it, and to celebrate you bought us some pop and meat sticks and the corner market. That was fun, even though I was super tired.

Still, I got good tips that day and was able to save up the $200 to buy the N64! And the best part is you can play a lot of games with me, like Wave Race 64. I’ve been practicing really hard to beat all your times and win all the races, so I hope you’re ready to play when you get home from work. Well, it’s time to practice my stunts in Glacier Coast as Dave Mariner (“Fatboy”).

See ya!

Tim

High School Gamer

Dad,

I don’t have as much time for video games as I used to, what with working at Dairy Queen a lot these days, but let me know when you’re done with the PS2 so I can continue playing Call of Duty. I didn’t know that shooters were so fun, but those D-Day missions really sucked me in. I didn’t think anything could drag me away from Gran Turismo 3: A-Spec or Burnout 3, but I’ve found myself playing Call of Duty and Black more often. It seems that our schedules are opposite one another a lot these days, plus my girlfriend wants to go out a lot (and she has a knack for calling when I’m in the middle of a gaming session). Still, I’m hoping one day we can continue trading missions in SOCOM: U.S. Navy SEALs. I know it’s not co-op like we usually do but I enjoy the way you play. You’re a lot more patient and prefer stealth, but I just can’t help but go in with guns blazing.

Speaking of guns blazing, I’m still angry with you for not letting me buy GTA III. All my friends are playing it and I still don’t think it’s that big of a deal – I mean, I played Mortal Kombat as a kid and I turned out alright. However, you say you’re doing it for my own good and you have to draw the line somewhere, and there’s really nothing I can do about it. I still love you even though I’m mad at you, and maybe one day I’ll understand your reasoning, but it just doesn’t make sense to me right now. Aw crap, the girlfriend is calling me again – and I was just about to go play Final Fantasy X. She’s probably going to ask me to sell my games again…as if! Thanks for at least understanding that gaming is important to me (unlike some people).

Later,

Tim

Graduated Gamer

Hey Papa,

I can’t believe that time flies so fast. It just seems like a few years ago we were lighting the lamp in NHL ’94 and saving up to buy an N64 together. Yet here we are, you about to retire and me engaged to the woman I love, about to embark on another adventure in life. It’s been a long and rocky road to this point, and while girlfriends, seasons, schools, hairstyles, and just about everything else has changed or gone completely, I wanted to thank you for the one constant through it all – video games. Now I know that you’ve given me so much in my life, and believe me I’m grateful for it all, but gaming was really the one thing that has helped keep me sane over the last 20+ years. Growing up as an only child isn’t easy, particularly when the summers hit, and I often turned to video games as a source of comfort and companionship. I knew characters like Sonic, Ness, Mario, and Cloud better than I knew a lot of my friends, and while many people may think this is sad, it actually helped me find a place in this world.

As the years went on and I was able to get out of the house more, I still turned to video games to get me through tough times. When I had a tough day at school, the struggles of Zidane, Dagger, Vivi, et al to save the world put things in perspective. And when I needed to de-stress after a long session of doing homework, I could find that relief by dodging cops and competitors in Need for Speed: Hot Pursuit. So you see, video games give me a good outlet for emotions and tough times.

That being said, the most important thing I got out of gaming was the bond between me and you, dad. You did it right and started me out at a young age. I know the stigma that video games have faced through the years and that your method of bonding with me through gaming probably wasn’t a popular one, but trust me, it was the right call. Some of my most vivid memories are of us playing games like Toejam & Earl and Road Rash. I can recall sneaking peaks at the screen as you played Doom, even though I wasn’t supposed to, and of playing Command & Conquer because you did. And to this day, one of my favorite memories is of you beating that damn crocodile mini-boss for me early in Super Mario RPG for the SNES. I don’t know if you remember it, but I’ll never forget it as long as I live because it meant so much to me at the time. You know what they say – the smallest gestures can make the difference to a child.

And as I grew up I know that we had our fair share of fights and disagreements (GTA III, anyone?), and we grew apart a little during the high school and college years. Still, through those tough times I went back to video games as a source of familiarity, safety, and comfort. Even at our worst moments when it seemed like we’d never speak again, I had a connection to you that I could never sever. Whenever I boot up the N64, the SNES, or even the PS3, I’m booting up a long history of gaming that I wouldn’t have without you.

So thank you, papa. Thank you for opening my eyes to the world of gaming at such a young age. Thank you for teaching me a valuable lesson in responsibility by having me buy my own N64 (and then playing it with me). Thank you for looking out for me and trying to protect me from explicit content, even though I disagreed with you at the time. And thank you for continuing to game with me to this day. And even though sometimes we’ve been hundreds of miles away playing Battlefield 3 over Xbox Live, it still feels like we’re side by side, playing Sonic the Hedgehog for the first time all over again.

Your Son,

Tim, aka – Graduated Gamer

A Week of Infectious Gaming

I grew up in Michigan and there’s an old joke/saying in the Great Lake State: “We only have two seasons – winter and construction,” because both are unavoidable and seem to last forever. Well, I’d like to add a third season to that list – flu season. For the past 3 years I've gotten  flu shot, and the past 3 years I've contracted the flu, including this year’s unpleasant batch of virulent hell that nature unleashed upon my system. Still, I’m rarely one to be both down and out, so while I took 4 days off from work, I decided to see what my life would be like if I spent an excessive amount of time playing video games like I used to do about ten years ago.

Back in my youth, particularly my middle school days, I used video games as an escape. It wasn't really a way to escape the real world because I was miserable. I didn't need video games to help me forget troubles at home or school, and I had friends to keep me company from time to time (especially during all-night 4-player split-screen Goldeneye and Mario Party sessions). No, my escape into video games was mainly because summer vacations can get pretty lonely when you’re an only child. When mom and dad went off to work, I’d get up at the crack of noon, grab a bowl or three of cereal, and head down to the basement to rock some N64, PSX, or PS2 action. It was a way to pass the time until my parents came home. Then, when night fell and my parents went to bed, I’d grab some Doritos and pop (yes I’m from the Midwest and yes it’s called pop) and settle in for a gaming marathon into the wee hours of the morning (usually using my father’s alarm clock for work as an indication to power down).

The absolute best way to spend a childhood.

It was during these blissful years of my youth that I gamed for an average of 10 hours a day when I didn't have to step foot outside. Was it a blast and did it get me through what would normally be a boring summer? Hell yea! Was it healthy? Shut up, nobody asked you! Still, those years have long since been gone, but with my sick week ahead of me I had the opportunity to go back in time to my teenage years and play games the way they were meant to be played – in huge marathon sessions in dark rooms while ignoring the fact that anything or anyone else exists. On the docket this week were two games I've been deeply invested in the last couple of months: Fallout 3 and Battlefield3. Sure they’re both a bit dated, but Fallout 3 is one of my favorite RPGs of all time, and ever since my dad got me hooked on playing multiplayer Battlefield 3 I've been nothing short of an addict. Combined, since mid-December I’d logged almost 100 hours of gameplay before my sick week, so gaming marathons shouldn't be a problem for me.

Now bear in mind that this week, while fun and freeing in terms of gaming was also partly miserable due to the fact that I was running a fever for nearly 72 hours and my bones and joints felt as if they’d each done an Iron Man event recently. Therefore I know that this little excursion down memory lane isn't entirely indicative of what a true week in gaming would be for me (not to mention the  full-time girlfriend I live with, who, while cool with my gaming habits still requires attention from time to time). However, until I’m unemployed I won’t have a better shot to record my “findings” than this, so here we go.

I yearn for the days when this used to happen on the regular.

Gaming marathons as an adult suck. Holy cow, that was difficult to do, but I’m serious – it’s awful and I’m not entirely sure why, but it’s the truth. Before I get too far into the details, allow me to backpedal a bit into my experience:

• Day One – I play Fallout 3 for about 4 hours straight, during which I’m trying hard to keep it out of my mind that I likely have about 300 unread emails in my work inbox despite the fact that everyone knows I’m sick. During that time I've felt guilty about “wasting” a beautiful morning “just playing video games”. After a little lunch break with the girlfriend and watching a couple of episodes of Wilfred (amazing show, BTW), I turn on some Battlefield 3 and jump into an online multiplayer session. During this session, I feel bad about not doing any laundry and wonder if I should’ve at least helped pick up a bit. After a few more hours of guilt-ridden and/or frustrating play on BF3, I pack it in for the night and opt to watch a few more episodes of Wilfred.

• Day Two – Not much else different here; I felt guilty for being a lazy slob (although I did shower during the day) and gave myself more stress by not checking my email inbox which by this point must be in the thousands. I’m also not getting any better from the flu, despite drinking my weight in water and pomegranate juice, so that didn't help. Also, Battlefield 3 was just full of what can only be described as ass-hats most of the day, which didn't quite make my online foray enjoyable.

• Day Three – I didn't spend as much time playing today. While averaging about 8 hours the first two days, my guilt got the better of me and I checked my email (which was thankfully only in the mid-100s) and journeyed outside of the apartment to run a couple of small errands with the girlfriend. I did still manage to play a few hours of Fallout 3 and an online session of BF3 with my dad, but I only clocked about 4 hours, and that was attributed to adult responsibilities more that the flu.

• Day Four – I caved and went to work. I shouldn't have gone because I still had a slight fever, but dammit that inbox full of emails must’ve meant that I was important and needed at work more than the Capital Wasteland needed me to help get Project Purity back online (a stupid conclusion that I obviously blame on the fever). After work I squeezed in a measly hour of online time with BF3 then went to bed vowing to get better and go to work on Friday, only to have fevered, nonsensical dreams during a rough night of restless sleep

• Day Five – I decide that my health and Project Purity are more important than work, and decide to ride out the end of my flu with my Xbox 360. Fallout 3 is the game du jour with a sprinkling of Battlefield 3, but I still could help but feel guilty, like I could be doing something more productive.

"Hey there boy! Want to protect me from myself?" 

So now you have my synopsis of gaming during a week with the flu, and if it isn't painfully obvious already, the week was a bit bipolar from the perspective of a gamer. I thoroughly enjoy gaming, and have spent countless life-hours devoted to this “little hobby” of mine; however, it appears that my time as an adult (aka – the last three years) has severely altered my ability to get lost in my gaming. Having responsibility is a bitch. Bills need to be paid, paychecks need to be earned, and student loans need to be repaid. It all comes down to one universal truth – growing up means that people expect you to grow the fuck up and stop playing with toys and carry around a briefcase.

Okay, maybe I’m a bit bitter about the real world as of late given that I've been experiencing a bit of gaming anxiety, but the real world is not necessarily gamer-friendly. Unless you’re one lucky bastard and have the skill and/or luck to work for a company like IGN or develop video games for a living, playing video games is seen as a vast waste of time when you could be out there doing so much more, like selling your soul for a paycheck working for an evil corporation. This isn't a knock at corporate America, but rather a knock on the stigma that’s still inherent in America (and the world as a whole) towards gamers, and I felt the guilt I felt as a gamer this past week as I tried to enjoy something I love so much.

My brain's logic when deciding the merits of gaming.

So in a week where I was running a fever and had every right to sit in my PJs and play my Xbox 360 like I did for so many summers as a child, I was riddled with thoughts that I should be doing something better with my time. Being an adult comes with some awesome perks, like freedom to make any decision you want without someone else telling you it’s a bad idea and the money to buy anything you desire provided you have a steady income. The thing that I wish someone had told me growing up, though, was that it’s all a lie in one way or another. Even though you don’t have a parent telling you what to do, they've been replaced by something worse – a nagging voice in your own head telling you that you’re a terrible person for not being more adult. And even though you can afford more games than you ever could as a kid, you have very little free time to play them and it leads to huge backlogs and something that can only be described as gamer anxiety. So in the end, my week with the flu and many hours of potential gaming ended up being another rough lesson in how the real world isn't made for gamers. Maybe I should have spent my time more wisely, like inventing a time machine to go back to a better time, when gaming was the greatest thing in the world, and responsibilities were for fools.